Family Christmas Bucket

Yes, I know I'm the worst blogger ever. I want to blog more. I really enjoy it. I just have a hard time actually making the time. Then when I go so long without writing, I find it difficult to even know where to start again, but I love the Holiday season so much, it has inspired me to try again in hopes that one of these days I'll be a good little blogger.

Our Thanksgiving time was wonderful! We had our annual friends Thanksgiving in our home, and we went to Indiana for a Thanksgiving and Christmas combined celebration. I love getting to spend quality time with my family. Seeing our little lady interact with her nana, papa, aunts, uncles and cousins brings my heart a lot of joy... and a lot of sadness when we have to say good-bye. I will always treasure the times we have together though.

On the Polar Express with Nana

Love those cousins!

What I really want to write about this time is our new Christmas tradition I am extremely excited about. We have created a Family Christmas Bucket. Starting December 1 through December 24, there is something to unwrap everyday that represents some sort of activity for us to do together as a family. Well, since Daddy has to go to work everyday, some days just the wee one and I will be doing the activity, but most days it's a family thing. Sometimes there is just an envelope to open with something written in it, and other days there is actually something to unwrap. (My goal is to do weekly updates on Sundays, but if you follow me on Instagram, you'll get some sneak peaks.)

December 1:
Yesterday was our first day. We woke up, got Little Lady all excited about the Christmas Bucket, and opened our first envelope, which told us that today was the day to "Bake and Decorate Christmas Cookies"! It was a long, but very fun, day! Matt and I have been baking and decorating cookies at Christmas since we got married, and I must admit that it is a lot different making, baking and icing cookies with a toddler. We finished all of them though, despite several cookie casualties, and smiles were worn by all.... at least most of the day. Next year will be even more interesting with a little man around too, but we will definitely do it again!

Excited to start making cookies!

Oh my sugar!

"Ta-Da! Cookies!"

December 2:
Our normal Sunday night tradition is to get pizza and watch a movie. Sometimes we have people over, other times it's just our family. Either way, I love getting some low-key, quality time in with our little family before another busy week begins. We have a little girl who is very, very into Mickey and Minne Mouse right now... so, what better movie to be the first one from the bucket to open than Mickey's Christmas Carol. Little Lady was extremely excited to open the little package and see Mickey Mouse on the box. She was a little disappointed Mickey and Minne weren't in every one of the short films, but all in all it was a very enjoyable evening for the Wagners.

Girl was glued!

We are also doing advent this year, because above all we want Jesus to be the center of our Christmas celebrations. I absolutely love everything that comes along with Christmas, but I definitely want my kids growing up knowing exactly why we get so excited and celebrate this wonderful holiday in the first place. We decided to use Truth in the Tinsel this year. Most of the activities are a bit advanced for a little one who's not even two yet, but we are still reading the scriptures and doing some coloring. Our hope is that at least maybe some if it will start to sink in even this year. In our attempted explanation of what we are going to be doing, Little Lady might now think that Baby Jesus is actually inside the little house we use for our advent calendar, but at least she knows there IS a Baby Jesus, right? Silly little girl. We will get there eventually.

I love getting to see Christmas through the eyes of a little one... always full of wonder and awe, with joy and excitement overflowing. She wakes up each morning and one of, if not the very first, things she starts talking about is our "Trismas Free". Everyday is just as exciting as the day before. I especially love getting to do little things that help make this season extra special, and I'm thankful for a husband that likes to do the same! Here's to a very Merry Christmastime!

Lessons Learned in a Year

I still need to do a Christmas re-cap, because getting to have Christmas with our sweet Little Lady was one of the best things ever, but all that's on my mind right now is the hard truth to swallow that my baby girl is now 1! I've heard parents say it a million times, but I cannot believe how fast time is going! I remember giving birth and bringing her home from the hospital like it was yesterday... but at the same time the newborn phase feels like it was a lifetime ago, and I hardly have any recollection at all of what life was like before her grand arrival. I have learned so much in this last year there's no way I could write it all or even put into words all that I've learned, but here are 25 lessons that stand out...

1. I've learned that I actually can give birth naturally, even though there is no way I could have done it without my amazing husband.

2. I've learned to function on much less sleep than I would like to have.

3. I have learned how to breastfeed. While it is the sweetest, most natural thing, it actually takes a bit to really get comfortable doing it.

4. I've learned to do *almost* everything one-handed... things I haven't figured out yet include cutting up raw meat, using a hair straightener and sewing.

5. I've learned to be way more comfortable with all kinds of bodily fluids... most things aren't so bad, especially coming form a wee one I love so much, but I never dreamed I could be thrown up on multiple times and not be phased (Little Lady having the stomach flu was one of the saddest/hardest times of the year).

6. I have learned a LOT about cloth diapering. It was kind of my obsession for awhile, but now I know what my favorites are (Ragababes). We have our system down, and I just stick to that... I spend a lot less time now obsessing about diapers, but I've even made some great friends through our cloth diapering adventure. And the main thing I've learned is that using cloth diapers is much, much easier than I thought it would be.

7. Something I never really imagined doing (and some may find appalling), but I have learned use the potty while holding a baby, sometimes even a sleeping baby.

8. Now that baby is older and much more active, so I've had to learn to use the potty in such a way that the entire opening is completely covered or a little hand will periodically try to reach in... thankfully she has never succeeded!

9. While we are talking about using the potty, I have also learned that it is a bad combination to sneeze, cough, run or laugh too hard with a full bladder.

10. I've learned how to make myself look presentable even if I didn't attempt a shower that day (at least I think I've learned this... others may disagree). I'm also now comfortable when I look in the mirror and see stains of spit up, snot, or crumbs from the most recent snack, even if all three are found on my dress on the way to a wedding.

11. I have learned that our house may never be perfect again. Some days I even enjoy seeing toys and sippy cups scattered all over the floor because it reminds me how wonderful it is to have a little person around to make good use of those items.

12. I've learned to have selective memory. As I think back on the past year, the great moments stand out! I hardly remember the tough, not so great ones, even though I know I have had those moments! Life with a baby can be hard, but it's such a short time, I'd much rather dwell on the wonderful things about this phase of life.

13. I've learned that days can be long, but the weeks and months are passing by too quickly!

14. I have learned that some of the most magical moments are the simplest... my baby's smile, her laugh, her adorable expressions, the sweet smell of her breath,  her little hand patting me, her sugary kisses, watching her learn, play and discover... I could go on and on.

15. I have learned that I absolutely love getting to stay at home with our Little Lady! I'm so privileged to be the one to get to watch her grow and develop each and every day. I get to be the one to teach her. Since becoming a mommy, I feel like a piece of my life that was missing is now complete. I honestly feel like this is what I was created to do.

16. Though I already knew it, I have now learned beyond a shadow of a doubt, I made the best decision I possibly could have marrying the man I did. Not only was it a great decision for myself, as he is the most loving, kind, encouraging, helpful, strong man a girl could ask for, it was a great decision for our daughter and our future children. They will get to grow up with a daddy who will love them like Jesus loves them, as much as that is humanly possible.

17. I have learned that I *will* do things as a parent that I swore I would never do. A couple things come to mind... I thought I would never let our kids sleep in bed with us, but alas, this has become normal for us... and I actually really enjoy it. I thought I would only nurse a baby until the age of one and no later, but we are passing that... and I'm not sure when we will wean. I'm sure as time goes on my list of things "I will never do" but in fact do will grow by leaps and bounds.

18. I have learned that each family and even each child is different. What works for one family and for one child, may not work at all for another family, and that is o.k. Most parents I know are trying to do the best they can in raising their children. I may not agree with everything they do, but I'm positive I do things other parents don't agree with either... which is fine, and we can all learn from each other.

19. I've learned that I will do anything possible to protect my baby. I know it's inevitable and great lessons can be learned through pain, but dang it, I do not want to see my baby get hurt or be exposed to the cruelties of this world.  I believe a fierceness lies within me I did not know existed just over a year ago.

20. I have learned to understand my own mama in a new way, and I know that I still have a lot to learn from her. Anyone that knows her knows she is an amazing woman. I can now imagine how much she loves us and how hard it must that two of her kids live far away from her... we are planning to build houses in our back yard for all our children ;)

21. Many lessons I'm still in the midst of learning. For example, I worry too much. The smallest little hiccup can send my mind reeling. This is an area I am constantly having to give over to the Lord, and I continually need to ask Him for help in trusting Him... even though I know He wants what is best for all his kids. And he has never let me down before!

22. I'm still learning to be more flexible. No matter how planned out things are, I never know when a wee one will wake up with a fever and change it all, or when I'm already five minutes late, there's a major blow-out, making us very late. I'm learning it's best to roll with these punches and hope others understand.

23. I am learning that I need more patience than I have. As we enter toddlerhood, I know I need to start practicing patience regularly. I pray I can continually be calm, gentle and consistent. Thinking about having to discipline more is daunting, but the task is quickly headed our way. No one else will influence our daughter the way her Daddy and I will... crazy responsibility!

24. I've learned that I still have *a lot* to learn, and parenting is filled with tough choices. I love talking with other parents who have been there, done that and have gained wisdom to be shared. I also love talking to parents who like us are in the beginnings of parenting and trying to figure it out one day at a time. I always welcome advice. I feel the more resources we have to draw from the better, even when everyone has a different opinion. I enjoy hearing them all so we can make a more balanced decision when we have to.

25. This only scratches the surface, but of all the things I've leaned this year, the most important thing I've learned is a deeper understanding of the love God has for us. I know I will never completely comprehend it, but many of the truths in the Bible are much clearer now. I have a better understanding of how God can love us so deeply when we do nothing to earn it and maybe even make things more difficult. When I look at my precious, helpless baby who causes me to get less sleep, forgo general hygiene, have less of a social life, etc. my heart swells with love for her. She teaches me more about the Lord each and every day... an entire post or more should be devoted to this subject. I know it will be in a much different way, but I pray my life points her to Jesus as well.

I can't believe I have a one-year old, and I can't wait to see what this year brings and all that I will learn as we continue this journey!

First Thanksgiving

Thought I better get this out before Christmas....
Though I'm sure a lot of people have a lot to say about the very first Thanksgiving that was ever celebrated oh so many years ago, but I'm writing about our Little Lady's first Thanksgiving. My heart is absolutely overflowing with thankfulness this year! I love being a little family, and I am exceedingly grateful that God has blessed us with such an amazing little person to be part of our family. It's the best ever!

We kicked off the holidays this year with our annual "Friends Thanksgiving", which is one of our favorite days of every year. The first year we were married, Matt and I started the tradition of having some of our closest friends over to share a Thanksgiving meal. We don't live near family, so having friends that are like family is extremely important to us. We love having people in our home, and we hope this little tradition is one way to foster community, which we really value.

Lil' Lady loved her first Thanksgiving Feast :)

After our first fabulous Thanksgiving feast, we jumped into the Christmas spirit and decked the halls before leaving for Arlington to spend actual Thanksgiving with Matt's family. Preparing for our Thanksgiving meal and decorating for Christmas were both quite a bit different this year with a little person underfoot, but I wouldn't have it any other way... Life is much more fun with her! We also broke down and bought a fake tree this year. I didn't want to spend my days pulling pine needles out of a Lil' Lady's mouth, and I was allergic to pine when I was little, which worries us that our girl could be too. She has extremely sensitive skin. I love our little tree anyway.

Back to Thanksgiving... we scooted off to Arlington to celebrate Thanksgiving. Road trips are not quite what they used to be. I used to love a good road trip. While I don't find them miserable now, trying to keep a 10 month old happy and entertained is not always an easy feat. With a dog and a baby along for the ride, it's just not as easy and stops take waaaaay longer now. It's always worth it to get to spend coveted time with family though. Once we finally arrived, Lil' Lady was thrilled to see her grandma, grandpa and uncles, and she was extremely glad to get out of her car seat and move around!

We spent Thanksgiving day hanging out with family. We went to Matt's aunt's house for a yummy meal, and Lil' Lady even got to spend some time playing with a cousin of her's... a second cousin, but I think they had fun!

While in Texas, we took our sweet girl to the zoo for the first time. Even though she won't really remember this trip, it was fun to see all the animals through her eyes. Many of the animals excited her, but the penguins won her heart! We were also able to do some shopping and took a fun trip to a museum, which had lots of great interactive kiddie things to do. All in all it was a wonderful trip, and coming home is always wonderful as well. Here's some pictures documenting our trip for your viewing pleasure.

Happy Thanksgiving, happy girl!

Family pic :)

Seeing the zoo through a little one's eyes is great!

The penguins were her definite favorite!

Just look at this turtle, Daddy!

She loves water therefore loved putting her hands in and touching a starfish!

Playing with a light box at the museum... we really need one of these.

A giant lite bright is pretty amazing too.

Cannot get enough of that adorable, open-mouthed smile! Don't you just want to eat her up?

She also got to meet her great grandma :)

Seven Months and Scooting

A week ago yesterday, Lil' Lady turned seven months old, and I've done a horrible job keeping up with this blog, but I knew it would be like that. I'll write when I can or when I feel inspired, but it may not be as often as I would like. All that being said, I cannot believe how fast this last month has gone. I feel like I haven't even gotten used to saying our sweet girl is 6 months old yet... I keep wanting to say she's 5 months old, and now I have to say that she is SEVEN months old!?! I feel like the sixth month passed in a flash.

Lil' Lady's biggest accomplishment of late is the ability to move! Gone are the days of sitting her in one place and her staying there. For several days, she was very frustrated by her inability to move. Often she would try to go forward, only to find herself continually inching backwards. Now though, she gets on her hands and knees and lunges forward or does the "army crawl", which she has pretty much mastered. She is definitely able to get where she wants to be. The wood floor still gives her trouble, and she's still not crawling on hands and knees... but it's  new world and so much fun!

The last few days have also been filled with some challenges. Our sweet girl has decided that her little world is coming to an end if I am not holding her or on the floor playing with her. This makes it very difficult to get things done. Even simple things are difficult. If I even put her down so I can go potty, she screams the entire time. I know this is the age that separation anxiety can start, and I also know her teeth are hurting her like crazy. These days can prove difficult though. I keep reminding myself that a day will come that all I will want to do is hold her, and she will be too old. I'm trying my best to treasure each moment she is in my arms, but sometimes I fail and get wrapped up in frustration.

I am totally and completely crazy about my daughter though, and I wouldn't trade the hardest days at home with her for having to leave her and go to work. I feel like I have the best "job" in the world and am beyond blessed to spend everyday raising her. I love the joy she continually brings to our lives as well. Watching her sleep is angelic. Getting to see her enjoy tasting new foods is a real treat. Seeing her play with her puppy brother, Coal, is a blast. And nothing makes my heart swell more than when I've been out for a run, and I walk into the room, her face lights up, she laughs, waves her arms, and lunges towards me. It's a truly wonderfully indescribable feeling to be her mommy!

 

Thankful

I've been thinking a lot this week about how very much for which to be thankful! The sermon at church on Sunday was all about thankfulness. One of our pastors taught out of Psalm 136, which is a Psalm of thanks to the Lord for a vast array of reasons, but most of all because His love endures forever (that phrase is repeated 26 times in the Psalm). The enduring love of God is something for which to be forever thankful. I don't know anyone who can more appropriately claim that than the pastor who was teaching... he and his wife have lost three babies ranging in age from 2 hours to 12 months and 2 days. They have two sons today, but I don't know how someone is able to live through that and function once, let alone three times. If they are able to give thanks to the Lord for He is good, and His love endures forever, surely I can!

Then last night, Lil' Lady A's Bible story was about the "Sermon on the Mount." Jesus points out that the birds don't have to stock pile food and lovely flowers don't have to put on pretty clothes and dresses. God takes care of them, but we are even more important to God, so how much more will he take care of us? I am immensely grateful for how God takes care of us. Even when we are a bit careless and don't make all the necessary financial cuts when going from two incomes to one, He provides. We have all our needs met... a roof over our heads, a house that stays cool in sweltering heat, all the food we need, water whenever we want it and clothes on our backs.

Even more than all that stuff though, I am blessed with a fantastic family. My amazing husband is out of town right now, which reminds me even more how very thankful I am for him. Once he gets home from work everyday, he helps with dinner, helps clean up, changes diapers, helps with bath time, plays with our daughter, reads her a bedtime Bible story, and makes sure everything is taken care of while I get Lil' Lady to sleep. He also provides me with great conversation and companionship. I miss him like crazy, and he's only gone one night. I don't know how mamas who have husbands that travel all the time or are in the military do it. I'm so thankful this is a rare occurrence, and I'm thankful for friends who come over to help and provide great company.

Not only do I have a great husband, but we have a darling daughter. I am extremely thankful for her! She is healthy and growing and developing just as she should be. Her little smile and bubbly spirit bring joy to all who meet her. She is sweet as can be and oh so much fun!

I am also thankful for my extended family and friends who provide lots of love and support, even if they live miles and miles away. These are just a few of the things for which I am so thankful, but most of all I am thankful for a God who loves us enough to allow His son to die in our place.

"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever." Psalm 136:1

6 Months!?! Seriously?

I cannot believe that Lil' Lady A was born SIX MONTHS ago! The past six months have easily been the most wonderful months of my life. I thought being married was great, but life is even better now. As long as I can remember, I have dreamed of being a mommy. A big part of that is probably because I grew up with such an amazing mom. When I was younger, I used to say I wanted six or seven kiddos. I don't necessarily feel that way anymore, but I do love being a mommy! I'm not saying it's all easy, and I'm sure harder days are ahead of me. But in a way I have never felt before, I feel fulfilled. I feel like I am doing what I was made to do.

I've loved every moment so far, even the difficult ones, and have tried to savor, savor, savor as much as I possibly can. The squishy, tiny newborn stage was so precious! We were seriously trying to figure out what we were doing as new parents, and a most of those first couple months passed in a bit of a blur. Soon though, we became more comfortable and actually started leaving the house more. Meanwhile Little Lady kept growing and started smiling those sweet smiles right at us.  The last month or so has been a blast! I love this phase! She is rolling over, sitting up, playing with toys, grabbing EVERYTHING, and laughing (perhaps the best sound in the world). We already think she's going to be a little social butterfly because she loves being around people and is easily distracted from eating and sleeping when others are around. She is such a delight!

In a mere six months I have learned all kinds of things. I've learned how to breastfeed. I've learned to distinguish between different cries. I've learned that parenting looks different for each family (and probably each child). I've learned more about baby poop than I ever dreamed possible. In fact I've learned to be unfazed by any and all bodily fluids.  I've learned tons about cloth diapers and wash routines. I've learned that it takes much longer to get out the door than it ever did before. I've learned to do all kinds of things one handed... including but not limited to cook, clean, put on make-up, brush my teeth, type, laundry, dishes and more. I've learned that watching my husband love our daughter makes me fall even more in love with him.

Of all that I've learned though, I feel the most important thing I've learned is a better understanding of the love of God. Though I know I can never fully comprehend how much He truly does love us, being a mommy helps. I am so in love with our little blessing, but she has done nothing to earn my love. She is simply here. She exists. I would do absolutely anything possible to make sure she is happy, healthy and thriving. I want what is best for her in all situations, but she doesn't DO anything to make me feel that way. If anything, life is more difficult now. I get less sleep, there is more work to do around the house, I don't get to read or pursue other hobbies as much as I once could, some days are difficult to even shower, diapers need changed constantly, and I regularly end up in direct contact with poo. I clearly no longer come first in my life, yet I could not be happier. I imagine God feels similarly about us, though I know that somehow His love is even deeper. We don't have to DO anything to earn His love. He just love us! We even hurt Him and definitely mess things up, creating difficulties, but He loves us unconditionally!
 

Thank-you Little Lady for bringing immeasurable joy into our lives and for continually teaching us, especially all that you teach us about the Lord. Happy Half Birthday!

Two to Three

Early on in our relationship, Matt and I discussed kids and were glad to find out that we both very much wanted to be parents. So, after about a year of marriage, we decided to not prevent anything. If I got pregnant, so be it. We were both into or approaching our 30's after all. I'm glad we started trying when we did, because it did take about a year and a teensy bit of medical help for us to get pregnant.

Of course we didn't realize it, but God's timing was great (imagine that)! A mere few week before we found out we were pregnant, we found out we were moving to Arkansas, which would allow me to fulfill my dream of staying home with our babies. It would have been MUCH more difficult to afford that living in Miami. When we found out we were pregnant, we could not have been more excited! The first day we saw that faint pink line on a pregnancy test, I was nervous that it was too good to be true, but even then I couldn't help myself from telling people. The next day the line was even darker, and we knew this must be for real!

I actually loved being pregnant. Of course there were inconveniences, but I was daily overwhelmed by the miracle taking place in my body. As our little "Sprout" started to grow, we moved to Arkansas. I didn't even look for a job because I knew as soon as Sprout was born, I wanted to stay home. I did some volunteer work and in hindsight could have started more hobbies or something, but I did have quite a bit more time on my hands, which allowed me to do lots of reading and research for our upcoming childbirth and preparations for a baby.

During this process, a friend recommended the film, "The Business of Being Born", and most of what I was thinking and planning completely and totally changed. I felt like blinders were taken off my eyes, and I decided I wanted a natural childbirth if at all possible.  I know that sometimes c-sections are life saving (I nor my mom would be here if it wasn't for c-sections), and I in no way judge anyone who had been induced or gotten an epidural. Sometimes that is the best choice, and I completely understand that. But based on my research and personal background, I felt that if it was at all possible, I wanted to have a natural delivery. Matt got on board, and we enrolled in Bradley Method childbirth classes. The training we received in these classes gave us the necessary preparedness to make it through labor and childbirth without medical interventions.

Before we knew it, it was January and the birth of our baby girl was quickly approaching, and my "white-coat syndrome" was acting up like crazy. I have irrational issues with doctors that causes my blood pressure to get too high. Doctors do not like this when you are pregnant. Several times I had to be monitored for several hours before being released to go home, and then one day I was showing multiple signs of pre-eclampsia. Therefore, I was admitted and told I was being induced. Knowing that pre-eclampsia is potentially very dangerous, we felt this was the best decision. We called all our family and settled in for the night. After a dose of cytotec and overnight monitoring, everything cleared up and the doctor (rudely) told us we could either start pitocin and proceed  with induction or go home. Though all our family was in town, we felt the best (though extremely difficult) decision was to go home and avoid an unnecessary induction.

Everyone except my mom had to leave before our little lady arrived, which broke my heart, but I still feel it was the right decision for us. I had contractions off and on for a week, and I went to bed on my 30th birthday and now past my due date wondering if she was ever going to come out. That very night though I started waking up throughout the night with contractions that felt different than anything had so far, but I kept trying to relax as much as possible and sleep in between them. As the next day (Friday) wore on, contractions continued getting stronger and closer together. After they had been about 3 min apart and lasting 60-90 sec, we decided to go to the hospital. Once we arrived, we were a little disappointed because I was only 1+ cm dilated, but the doctor in the ER thought that once I started dilating, I would progress quickly. She recommended we stay another hour and see what happened.

During that time, we did a lot of walking. My water ended up breaking, contractions were still strong and regular, and we were admitted. After several more hours of labor that was getting rather intense, I was checked and still had not made much progress. It was difficult to not be discouraged, but things suddenly changed.

Within an hour, I started feeling like I needed to push. The nurse came and said I was very nearly fully dilated and could start trying to push if I wanted. I pushed through a few contractions, and it actually felt good to be pushing. Soon the doctor came in though, and she was worried that baby girl was still a bit too high. Her concern was that if I continued to push it could cause me to swell, which would make pushing her out much more difficult. So, she asked me to try to NOT push for as long as I could. That period of time was the absolute hardest time of all of labor. I had no idea that could be so difficult, but we made it through. Matt was absolutely AMAZING through everything. I don't know how I would have made it with out him. I'm sure I would have been begging for drugs without such a great coach.

Anyway, when I couldn't take it any longer, we called the nurse back in, she said I was completely dilated and the baby had moved down quite a bit... so I started pushing and continued to push for almost 3 1/2 hours, which was exhausting but well worth it when she finally came out... "sunny side up" at 2:33 a.m on January 22. Seeing that little person who had been inside me for so long, was indescribable. I was immediately smitten and learned a whole new love I never knew I had.

When Lil' Lady A first arrived, I only got to touch her a moment because there was meconium in her mouth and the cord was around her neck twice so she was quite blue. The pediatrician was initially very concerned and took her away, but brought her back as quickly as they felt comfortable. They were all quite impressed with how quickly she transitioned, turned very pink and perked up. Since then she has been the picture of a healthy baby and has brought immeasurable joy into our lives.

I'm often asked if I'll go the natural route again... if at all possible, I absolutely will. It is the most difficult thing I have physically ever done but also the most amazing.

First family photo

Nana was there for it all too